Honest Trailer - X-Men: Dark Phoenix
X-Men: Dark Phoenix is the 313th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr,' Dan Murrell', Danielle Radford and Lon Harris. It was narrated by Jon Bailey 'as 'Epic Voice Guy. It parodies the 2019 superhero movie Dark Phoenix. The video is 5 minutes 5 seconds long. It was published on September 17, 2019 to coincide with the film's release on digital/Blu-ray. It has been viewed over 1.3 million times. Watch Honest Trailers - X-Men: Dark Phoenix on YouTube "The last film in this X Universe to remind us that just like the human body, when a franchise dies, it craps itself." '~ Honest Trailers - X-Men: Dark Phoenix'' Script From Disney Century Fox comes the last film in this X Universe to remind us that just like the human body, when a franchise dies, it craps itself. noises ''Dark Phoenix'' Roll the dice on the latest X-Men joint. An IP that’s given us the highest highs ''[Deadpool]'', the lowest lows ''[X-Men: The Last Stand, ''X-Men Origins: Wolverine] and the middlest mids ''['The Wolverine']''. Revisit the Dark Phoenix storyline from X-Men 3. Only this time, we really get to know Jean Grey. No? Not Really? Okay, but we’re exploring the cosmic potential of the Phoenix force. No? After the intro it’s all on earth? Okay, fine. We’ll finally see what a new creative team can do with this material. No? Same guy who wrote ''The Last Stand Kinberg, but now he’s directing too? Ughhhh. You know what they say. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, and you can probably fool me again”. Because, I like the cartoon and nerds are easy marks. Previously on X-Men—just kidding. Doesn’t matter because no one will explain how or why Magneto is a free man after the last movie, or how the X-Men have a hot line to the president after this happened, or why they keep skipping decades even though it puts these characters in the 50s now. 50s! But, whatever! Pretend this is the first one you’ve seen, and thrill as Jean Grey fights an evil space cloud Force Cloud, a monotone space alien Smith, and a consistent American accent Sophie Turner trying to speak in an American accent. In a story that banks on you caring about a character who’s barely on the screen, before this [X-Men: Apocalypse]. It’s almost like focusing on Mystique for the last 3 movies was... now hear me out. A bad choice! Mystique (X-Men: First Class): '“Mutant and proud.”'' Audience and over it. See the core X-Men how you’ve come to expect them by now. Annoyed, bored, and way to famous to sit for makeup. But, they’ll step aside to give The New Mutants something to do. Collider article that reads “‘The New Mutants’ Gets Pushed Back AGAIN, This Time to 2020” ''Er... rather these mutants. Like Cyclops, who’s random F-bomb in a PG-13 movie is the closest he comes to a personality. Quicksilver, who’s once again sidelined before his powers make everyone else pointless. Nightcrawler, who’s gone from thriller fan to killer man. And Storm, who’s been so conditioned to have nothing to do, that she let’s it pour rain at a funeral. Ugh, now the whole mansion‘s gonna smell like a wet dog. Gross. Ever wonder what it would look like if you got to make the next X-Men? Probably something like this ''Jean using her powers to help Professor X walk upstairs. Because this is the director’s first movie and he’s spending two hundred million dollars on his student film, showing off exactly how superhero actors look if it’s not handled with care and expertise. Morons. They look like absolute morons. 'Helicopter Guy (voiced by Jon): '''Okay, okay. Michael! Pretend you’re trying to open a jar with your mind. Sophie, you too. Harder. Harder! Put your hands out more! Way more! Don’t worry, it’ll look cool later! Oh, man. I’m in way over my head. So press X to pay respects to the final terrible movie of the current ''X-Men franchise, that you could blame on the writer/director failing upwards, or last minute reshoots to make it less like ''Captain Marvel. Or the main cast wishing they were dead. Or you could choose to remember all the good times. Forget this ever happened. And then try reading some X-Men comics instead. Did you know they made books out of all these movies? (whispering) ''There’s even pictures inside. Starring: Lady Bird; Charlie And The Child Soldier Factory; Let’s See Them Aliens; Old Magneto Had A Farm; X-Men Origins: Frasier; Quoth The Raven: Please No More; Taserface; Gotta Go Fast; Jake Gyllenhaal; I’m Not Here To Make Friends; And The MCU Stealing The X-Men? Ohhh, I Get It for ''Dark Phoenix was 'X-Men 4 - X3, Take 2: The Last One.' Titles designed by Robert Holtby.]] X-Men 4 - X3, Take 2: The Last One Uh, Jean did not have this much blood on her when she flew away. Whose blood is this? Erik: ”Whose blood is it?”'' Jean, did you kill Cyclops off screen again? Trivia * '''The Alan raptor easter egg appears at 3:52, flung into the air when Jean unleashes her phoenix force. * The Honest Trailers writers had a serious debate about how many fart jokes they could include in this video without it becoming too much. Editor Kevin Williamsen was in favor of as many fart noises as possible and created "The Fart Cut" which had flatulence noises punctuating every run. * Screen Junkies have produced Honest Trailers for many other installments in the X-Men universe including [[Honest Trailer - The X-Men Trilogy|the early-2000s X-Men trilogy]], 'Logan, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, X-Men: Days of Future Past, X-Men: Apocalypse, ''Deadpool,'' Deadpool 2 '''and 'X-Men: The Animated Series. The only ''X-Men movie they haven't covered so far is X-Men: First Class. * In the actual movie itself, The "Distributed by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures" in-credits text (just like other Disney movies) was not appeared after the end credits roll. Likely due to the movie being finished production before Disney merger. Watch the full Honest Trailers Commentary on YouTube Reception Multiple media critics highlighted this honest trailer for its scathing tone. Nicole Drum of ComicBook.com wrote "There's no real way to put this other than directly: the Dark Phoenix Honest Trailer is pretty brutal, pulling no punches as it goes for the weaknesses in the film. How brutal? Well, right off the bat they compare the film to what happens when the human body dies." Drum added "the Honest Trailer also goes in pretty hard for the film essentially having a recycled plot from X-Men 3 and points out some of its major flaws in that respect, namely that they didn't really offer a lot of Jean Grey or the cosmic potential of the Phoenix Force, two elements you'd think the story would need. The trailer also pointed out the weird timeline issue that is the X-Men films, specifically noting that with the way the franchise has been skipping decades, Beast should be in his 50s." B. Alan Orange of MovieWeb wrote "Honest Trailers has has gone to town on this saga ending sequel, offering this stinging gem right off the bat." Orange also noted "The trailer continues to take down Dark Phoenix rung by rung, pinging just about every aspect of the story and production. ... This is one of the rougher Honest Trailers to arrive in recent months, with the narrator eventually calling out the director for making what amounts to a student film, and stating that the heroes all look like morons in their signature heroic poses. The slams just keep coming too, for a solid five minutes that are pretty brutal. ... Often times, especially as of late, the Honest Trailers gang will have at least one or two nice things to say about the movie they are roasting. That definitely doesn't happen here. They pretty much chock Dark Phoenix up as a pile of hot garbage." Joey Paur of Geek Tyrant argued the Honest Trailer was a perfect summation of the movie, writing "this Honest Trailer breakdown of the film is really all you need to see. This pretty much says it all and after watching this, you don’t need to waste your time watching the movie." Production credits Epic Voice Guy: Jon Bailey Title Design by Robert Holtby Written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr, Dan Murrell, Danielle Radford & Lon Harris Produced by Spencer Gilbert, Dan Murrell, Joe Starr & Max Dionne Edited by Kevin Williamsen External links * 'X-Men: Dark Phoenix Honest Trailer Points Out Plot Hole '- Screen Rant article * 'Honest Trailers: The X-Men Franchise Craps Itself One Last Time with Dark Phoenix '- Epic Stream article * 'Dark Phoenix Honest Trailer Punches Hard at Dying X-Men Franchise ' - MovieWeb article * 'The Fairly Brutal X-MEN: DARK PHOENIX trailer. '- MOE Lane * 'X-Men: Dark Phoenix Gets an Honest Trailer ' - ComicBook.com article * '‘Dark Phoenix’ Honest Trailer: A Terrible Attempt To Remake A Bad Film Based On A Beloved Story '- The Playlist article * '‘Dark Phoenix’ Is Shamed With Brutal New ‘Honest Trailer’ '- Screen Geek article * 'DARK PHOENIX "Honest Trailer" Points Out A Major Plot Hole And Other Catastrophic Creative Decisions ' - Comic Book Movie article * 'Honest Trailers Roasts Sophie Turner’s ‘X-Men: Dark Phoenix’ ' - Heroic Hollywood article * '‘X-Men: Dark Phoenix’ Honest Trailer Gives That Awful Movie What Fer '- Egotastic article * 'Here’s the Honest Trailer for Dark Phoenix ' - TV Overmind article * 'X-Men: Dark Phoenix Honest Trailer out now- All details inside ' - Daily Bayonet article * 'New Episode of Honest Trailers Rips Into X-MEN: DARK PHOENIX ' - Geek Tyrant article Category:Honest Trailers Category:X-Men Category:Franchises Category:2010s Category:Superheroes Category:20th Century Fox Category:Disney Category:Screen Junkies Category:Alan raptor Category:Season 13 Category:Marvel